Dreams

Everybody has an untold story; They just need to find someone who will listen.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

feelings.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
i wish i did.
 
 
If you knew me in the seventh grade you probably wanted to smack me.
I was so loud.
and obnoxious.
but I was outgoing.
I got straight A's.
I went to every one of my classes
everyday
I talked to just about anyone.
I smiled everyday.
I laughed at
e v e r y  t h i n g
 
.
 
And here I am.
the tenth grade.
I wear all black to school,
and I don't smile.
I hate going to school,
if i go im late.
I have awfuuuuuuuul grades.
Im screaming on the inside.
I hate talking to people.
because I just feel like an idiot.
 
What happened to the outgoing happy innocent little girl?
 
Society got to her head.
 
and now she hates her self.
 
I've hurt everyone who loves me.
I have pushed everyone away.
Broke their heart.
and broke her own heart.
 
Everyday I get mad at myself.
because I want to be a happy person.
I go a couple days happy, thinking things are looking up.
telling myself to be happy.
But then I realize I'm not.
I want to be happy
but i dont know how.
I dont know what to do.
or anything anymore.
 
ah.
 
 I wish happiness came in a box.
I would order an endless supply.
and open 10 everyday,
and be the happiest person around.
because i like being happy.


But its not that easy.
you can't buy happiness.
you have to find it.
and i dont know where.
because everywhere ive looked
has let me down.

.

 
 


Thursday, November 15, 2012

heartless

It makes me sad to think
how bad one can hurt
from anothers actions.


You never realize
how bad
something you think
won't hurt so bad,
will hurt someone really hard.


I will no longer think of myself.
or my feelings
Because knowing I hurt someone else
hurts a million times more worse
than being hurt by someone.




I miss him.
more than words can even say.
 
but talking to him is out of the question.


Life seems as though it's just a blur.
 
 
Waking up in the mornings seems pointless.
I just want to sleep all the time.
Because it makes everything go away for a while.
 
and to think three months ago, I saw things falling apart.
I knew things were going to crash and burn.
but the saddest part is,
is that I let it.
 
and now,
I'm going to have to work on loving myself,
before I can even think about loving someone else again.
 
 
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